Ten years

I just had my ten year high school reunion had a lot of fun and now that it is over I have been sitting and reflecting how I have changed in ten years, how life has changed in ten years. Ten years ago I was 17, freshly graduated and high on life, ready to go into the Army after one last summer of fun.

September 11 2001 we all know this day, it was the day that changed a lot things about our world. It was a culture shock to me, things would never go back to the way they were. I turned 18 10 days later and went to boot camp in January 2002 didn't make it through apparently running is necessary lol. March 2002 "Met" first husband "A" fell in love and married him in November after he got done with boot camp and all that I was now a Navy wife, I moved from my home and everyone/everything I knew to Corona California to start my new life, soon moved to Coronado so A and I could be together easier, It wasn't easy and in 2004 we divorced. That was the year I got into bad things that could have gotten me into a lot of trouble had I gotten caught. That was also the year I became a mom. July 29 2004 the turning point in my life. Up until that point it had been me me me, now I had Boo and was a single mom time to grow up huh? I started school still rather much in the same self imposed prison shell I confined myself to in High School to afraid of what others thought to enjoy myself. While in school I reconnected with an old flame "J" and rekindled that old flame and November 2005 I got married again (seeing a trend with November?) As with a lot marriages now a days I was pregnant when we got married and in June 2006 we got a happy healthy baby boy L. J's and my marriage was rocky for many reasons a lot of them mine but a lot his as well. And being the intelligent people that we are we thought another baby could help us and no sooner did we talk about it then my stubborn princess made her way past the pill and in January 2008 she was born LOL but things did not change and in 2009 J moved us from Vegas back to Pahrump where I got my first real job since school and we got our divorce. This is where I REALLY started to grow as a person, I met Kuma and we fell in love fast (like we are talking weeks here) but instead of being half of a couple he encouraged me to be me first, he brought out the real me and I am sure some days everyone (including him) wish he had not awakened the pain in the butt I really can be. I still have my days where I am insecure and I am nearly always Highly emotional but hiding my emotions for well over 10 years and suddenly being free to express my self well I go a lil crazy now and then. Here we are Kuma and I have been together 21 months as of yesterday and I am engaged again only this time, its the real thing for better and for worse all the way, we have weathered hardships together already and thanks to him I know I can handle anything life throws my way and I can look forward to the next ten years knowing when I sit here and type then I am going to be saying "WOW what a ride!" LOL

Skin So Soft Hair removal cream

Guys just move on you don't want to read this LoL.

Ok Ladies as you all know I sell Avon so I brag about it anyway but this stuff is truely AWESOME in the past I have used Nair and learned that I have a major reaction to it so I have been shaving my legs with good ol' Shaving cream and razor, BLEH what a pain right? So when I saw Avon had a "Skin so Soft Hair removal cream" you bet I bought it! I did the test patch just to be safe and had no issue then I went ahead and used it on my legs and OMG it is fantastic just a few minutes and then wipe off with a wet rag and my legs were smoother than any razor ever got them! It has been 3 days since I used it, no razor burn, and I am only just now getting a teeny bit of stubble. This stuff is GREAT and I 100% endorse it. It is cheaper than razors, shaving cream, even some wax kits, it is less painful than waxing, no chance of cutting yourself, and no buying razors.

Boo did so well with The factor tree. I am so proud of him. If you are a mommy with school age kids reading this I totaly suggest you check it out :)

My princess

I am writing this 6 days before she turns 3 and I will show this to her probably in 13 years. I am cracking up at my silly girl. She is under the impression (I have no clue where she came up with this lol) That she is a princess and I am ok with that. My Princess will wear her "Princess dress" (A black and blue tutu I bought around Halloween) With her Pajama's, her blue jeans, anything. She Loves her "Pretties" (all her play jewelry), She like having "Pretties" on her face (Mommy's Make-up), and having her hair done "All Pretty". Pretty is a big party of my Princess's world. She can make your heart melt just by saying 3 words and it isn't the normal ones that will make a parent turn to mush it is "I need you" Her way of saying "I just need a hug right now" She already has a love for all things Chocolate, all things Pink (including piggies), and all things shiny. At times I fear I have a diva on my hands but she is my diva and at least she listens to her mommy (at least for now) She "Absolutely loves" the cartoon Eloise and looks at clouds and asks if that is where the care bears are. I love her childhood innocence and look forward to her birthdays to come. I hope this one is magical and memorable even if she is only three. Her dad and I (who just recently divorced) along with two of our friends are taking her to Disneyland. It is for her and her brother that J and I put aside our differences and can get together for things such as birthday's I hope that both of them know how much we both love them.

New year

Alright the new year is here and time to make some goals

Financial Goal- I am going to get my finances in order. I can't count how many months I have freaked out because I am juggling to much and not controlling what I spend. That ends today.

Self Improvement goal- I am going to live for me. Obviously I have kids so there is only so much living for me I can do but I am going to take "X" amount of time most likely a half hour or something somewhere in which I will read, take a bath, maybe go for a walk something that is for me and not with someone else I deserve a little me time and by golly I am going to take it! :)

Relationship goal-well I have not firmly set this one but something is going to change I can not continue in the path we are in now. Love goes so far then it takes work and well I won't air all my dirty laundry here but lets just say I need a little more.

Work Goal- I am going to start each work day with a positive attitude. I am going to let the trivial stuff that bugs me, roll off my back because if I let people bother me then I am giving them control of me. Be it a co-worker or a customer, even if I have to count to ten 50 times a day I will control my temper and thereby making work that much more enjoyable.

A rant about rules

First if you really know me or are related to me let me assure you nothing is wrong I am still me and have not been abducted by aliens or whatever. Also if I offend anyone well how to put this gently... I am not forcing you to read this so get over it and move on. Now on to my rant.

Rules. I like rules, they are there for a reason weather or not you think that reason or rule is silly, it has a purpose. It may-be to keep you safe, to keep others safe, or just because the person in charge wanted it that way for a reason of their own. I do wonder about some wacky laws like how in Georgia it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. But you know that law or rule is there for a reason. I don't like it when people take it upon themselves to decide that they know better than the rules. Some people think that just because that rule does not fit in with what they want to do then it is not necessary or meaningful and so they bend, break, or just flat out ignore the rule. For example (this is only an example not real that I know of) a restaurant closes at 9 every night, well one night they close at 8:30 because they want to go home, the boss never checks on them that late so it is no big deal right? Well that night the boss brings a VIP by and sees that they are closed and suddenly everyone looses in this situation the Boss possibly looses the respect of the VIP and the workers all loose respect of their Boss if not their jobs as well. All because they closed a half hour early. It wasn't a major rule only 30 minutes but it had major consequences. There are times where nothing would have happened the boss could have not shown up and nothing would have happened all would be fine, but it could have been avoided perhaps by calling the boss or what not.

I guess that is my rant thanks for reading :)

When momma bears get pissed...

Ok so what would you do if the person who asked to take your kids trick or treating while you worked took all of their "good candy" you know the candy that when you were a kid you shouted "SCORE!!!" when you saw it. The chocolate bars, Smarties, sugar babies, etc. Well some people have said "well how old are the kids, if they are young enough they won't notice" Well my youngest is nearly 3 and the oldest is 6 and let me tell you HE did notice! Now here is another question what do you do when the person who did this was someone close to your family may even one day be family and have watched the kids for 3 years off and on? I am sickened I know full well she might read this and I am fine with that because I can't think of what I want to say I am so mad. I mean what is a mom to do when she finds out that the 9 hours a day that she HAS to be away from her kids so she can pay for a house for them to live in her kids are being yelled at all day even on Halloween when kids are meant to be kids, be rowdy. They spent their Halloween being yelled at to "Shut up, just shut up" or "Sit down right now" My Kids are not monsters even if that is what I call them, I call them monsters as a term of endearment. Kuma, and I went to the store day after Halloween and bought $20.00 of 50% off candy and the other person watching the kids on Halloween (how I know what all happened) bought them each a bag of candy so in all the kids made out like bandits but it doesn't change the fact that someone they all love literally stole candy from them... What would you do if you were in my place?

Eleanor Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior;

without your consent.

This quote is one that helps me get through my day, If you know me then you know I have in the past let people walk all over me. I can blame this that and the other thing but I have come to realize that the only reason anyone "walks all over me" Is because I let them. Well about a year ago I decided I had enough and began to become the woman I know that I am. Starting with living by those words. I began to stand up for myself instead of just standing by and being taken advantage of. I have shocked some people and amazed others with my transformation; but it has not been for others that I have been doing this it is for me and me alone. Today I went looking for other quotes by this strong, wise woman and found a good number of them and Here they are for you to enjoy as well

• You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

• People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.

• A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.

• Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.

• I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.

• It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.

• Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.

• Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

• Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

• Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.

• The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

Boo's Mohawk

Yes I did it. After 2 months of "mommy I want my hair like Nathanial's" I gave my 6 year old a Mohawk and he LOVES it *laughs* he is now just like 3 other 6 year olds in his class with Mohawks it makes me wonder what other 80's/90's crazes are my generation going to inflict on our kids *laughs* Boo loves his new do and along with his "Hawk" he wore a shirt proclaiming "I'm with the band" *Laughs* How funny huh? Well here is the photo proof it is blue in the pics because I got carried away and used the Halloween spray in color for him lol

hello again

Ok so I lost internet for a little bit there here's what you have missed. The brandy well not so good lol no more apartment living for me and my herd Kuma and I signed a lease on a house! YAY!! it is perfect for us now if only we could find a room mate! We moved into the house thinking a friend was going to rent out our extra room but here we are two months into our lease and no roommate grrr ah well it will work out! ummm Onto the kiddos stepish son started 4th grade stepish daughter and Booness are first graders now! L is doing good really into Thomas the tank engine and toy story and H Is my princess and loves anything Cinderella and tinker bell lol. Kuma and I are doing great we just hit our one year mark can't believe that this past year FLEW! I've been working at the PN for almost a year and a half making this my longest job held (Besides being mommy of course!) and thats about it for now!

Peach brandy day one

So I told the guys on my line about my millions of peaches and one says "hey you can make peach brandy in a 10x10 cell, I bet you can make it even better at home" So cross your fingers ladies and gents I am attempting to make peach brandy and you are coming along on the ride (too bad I can only share the pictures and not the smell as I embark on this venture :) )

Millions of peaches

It is harvest time or rapidly coming up on serious harvest time. Today we took the kids, my brothers JW and myself and went to my grandpa's house and picked peaches keep in mind this is just one young tree the poor thing was so weighted down with fruit we are going to get lots of various preserves from these babies!

Puree'd peaches for Jams

Peach Juice for Jellies and Syrups

The Mess LoL

All these are left AFTER I have made the above

*Sigh* I have been looking forward to this since January but now that I am here I am exhausted already LOL Just wait until September I will be begging for harvest season to end but well for now I will say Anyone want to buy some yummy yummy peach preserves? I am for sure making the following flavors in possibly all these varieties

-Jam, Jelly, Syrup

-Peach, Peach jalapeño, Peach Raspberry

AVON!

My Avon Site

As you can tell by the name of this post and the link above I have started to sell Avon products I am very excited about this venture and with the help of those around me I am sure I will achieve the goals i have set for myself.

Fun Times

So I love My Kids, All of them mine by blood and mine by JW but every two week my littles go to their dads house my oldest goes to my moms house and JWs are at their moms house so it is just JW and me. Last night we took advantage of no kids and went to the bar with some friends C and I We shoot a little pool played a little Beer pong listened to I sing and danced a bit in general had a good time. I have not had so much fun in a long time either kids prevented it or someone was ashamed of me too much to take me somewhere like that or whatever the case for whatever reason last night was the first time in nearly 27 years that I have gone out to a bar with friends, and the first time in who knows how long I relaxed enough around a large number of people to just be me and have fun, no hiding behind an excuse or a mask just cut loose and had real fun and it wasn't even a lot of alcohol for me it was mostly just me and that is refreshing.

a hard week

this week felt like it has gone on forever it starts with my learning a lesson about trusting people if I appear to be a little more withdrawn I am sorry I just learned the hard way gossip mongers and backstabbers didnt stay in high school they just got better at it...also I went to the doctor because of my constant back pain and was diagnosed with scolioius(no comments about jeff dunham and polious are need the fam took care of that already lol ) i am on two pain releaver/ muscle relaxers and start physical therepy next week. and lastly my washer machine broke and i have about a thousand loads of laundry to do lol so if you live in pahrump or las vegas and know of a cheep working washer for sale lemme know please!

A new start

And so here I am taking inspiration from a friend and vowing to blog at least once a week! This week has been totally wicked awesome! I reconnected with a friend from my child hood we have not seen each other of talked in 16 years! and yet we are both in the culinary field of work *Laughs* I am on cloud 9 and my mind has been racing remembering all the good times we had as kids and now we are grown each with 3 kids of our own!

I know this is a short blog but next weeks will be longer i promise

Stress and the Holidays

Holidays are times where in my mind anyways people should set aside their differeces with others and be civil if not even nice. But not in my life it seems. My boyfriends ex is just doing everything she possibly can to make the Holidays miserable for us and in turn their kids are going to suffer for it. If it were just us that would be hurt by her bitter spitful actions well I'd say Bring it on because I am capable of returning fire (not that i enjoy sinking to that low but I could if pushed enough) but come on what about the kids seriously D is nearly 9 and C is 5 they still believe Christmas is a magical time of year. For her to use them as pawns in here little games just tears me apart as I am sure any GOOD mother would agree with me. Now I am not calling her a bad mom by any means she has managed to raise 2 great kids and therefore clearly she knows what is best for them but it seem right now she just doesnt have her head on straight or something because she is thinking only what is best for her and never mind about her kids. I am just ranting a little here a place where I can vent my frustrations since I won't go to her level and rail at her. She has gone as far as to say I am a druggie. Wow that is very imaginitve of her. Give me the test. That is one I will pass with flying colors. she says my home is "Unsafe" and yet I manage to have anywhere from 1, 3 or sometimes 5 kids and the worst any of them get hurt is by the kids themselves fighting and well kids fight even best of friends do. But whatever once again have some one come into my home and evaluate it, they will find a loving home that is a little small but every kid has a bed and food in their bellies and are well taken care of what more is nessesary. if you want to go a step further every kid has Christmas presents waiting to be wrapped and there are tons of toys to play with and child movies to watch. I am so frustrated I really am what can I do to prove to her (and why do I have to do anything) that I am not a bad person that I have all the kids best interests at heart the only thing I ask is she stops being a pest JW is not with her anymore not because of me but because she pushed him away. I did NOT steal him away from her in any way but she insists on blameing me at every turn...

Changes

So much has happened since last I blogged the biggest change is I met/re-met someone. We have hit it off and are doing splendid. He has 2 children on top of the 3 I already have so in the future (if I ever get constant internet back and get back into blogging) My blogs will even more hilarity thanks to kids. Both of us are cooks so there maybe some new recipes posted as well. In addition to my personal life JW has also helped me in a business level together we are creating Shelly's Jellies & More we make homemade Jellies and Jams and will be moving on to conserves and preserves. We have been working on this business for a bit over a month or so and already have a few customers who are referring us to others this is a truly enjoyable and exciting time in my life and has made me more aware of realizing how great life truly is even when things seem low there is always the possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel and bigger and better things heading your way.

I'm fine...

I say this 20 times a day I say it to myself "I'm Fine" as if just saying that makes it all better. I have my good days and bad days. Even though I really am "OK" with all this (the divorce) and I am "FINE" I still find myself thinking how do I manage to drive away the people I love. This is my second divorce and I am only 26. So in the back of my mind I feel as if there is something about me that makes it so difficult. ok now I know I am "Easy on the eyes" (I get told as much at least a few times a day lol)And I am in general a good person no HUGE flaws in my charecter that I know of. I am working on the whole confidence thing and even that is getting better. I am hurting, I am hurting because the man I wanted to be with forever sees me as just a friend and I have heard that line so many times in some variation, "You are one of the guys" "I see you as a sister" "friends forever ok?" *Sigh* And yet I also hear (Since I work with a bunch of guys) that guys and girls can't be friends. It is the whole when Harry met Sally thing. So which is it? "Lets be friends" Or I am attracted to you. And IF you are attracted to me why do you insist on being "Just friends" *Sigh* ok enough rambleing I guess... I guess I just need one of my "JUST FRIENDS" to talk to...

2 in 2 days!

2 posts in 2 days surely I must be mad. (Not I'm not and please don't call me Shirley ha ha If you don't know where that is from you HAVE to watch airplane!!!) anyways here I am at the Library in my home town stealing a few moments of internet time. I gave you a general run down of where I am in my life yesterday now here is an update on my dear minions.

Boo started Kindergarten this year he loves it as we all knew he would. He does not like that i give him rides to school (we live too close for the bus) but he will just have to get over that lol. He is getting so big he turned 5 in July can you belive that! I can't lol.

L- Well my little monster boy is not happy he is not in school but he is doing ok he is not being as mean to his sister which is good he is getting big as well 3years old and knows everything! *Laughs*

H- My princess is turning out to be everything i dreamed and more *Laughs* she loves her babies, pretties, and purses oh and her SHOES that is her favorite thing Shoes *Laughs* She loves having me put her hair up and getting dressed in the mornings. she is talking more and more I think i will blink and she will be 2 already!

not to much else is happening other than if J cannot or will not move out soon I am thinking I will just because I am anxious to start the next stage of my life whatever that maybe but I know that I cannot do that while still living with my almost ex husband.