rambleings of a grown up...

When did I get "old" or "grow up"? I don't mean old in the literal sense after all 25 isn't nearly as bad as I exepected but here I am once again in my Home town and in a town with only one walmart and 3 stop lights (the latest being added in this past year) it is nearly enevitable that once in a while one will run into people from ones past. When I married my ex I gladdly said goodbye to a lot of my high school/druggie friends when I left him I renewed a few friendships but not a lot when I married J I let a few more "friends" go simply because I didn't need or want the drama. Of the people I no longer associate with 90 % have as many if not more kids than I and this is the point of this post. While out and about today I "ran into" Reasa who used to be one of my best friends she has kids all about my kids ages give or take a few month last I had seen her was my wedding to my ex 6 years ago. She instantly reconized me and called out to me and what do I do? I stop and chat a bit, What I realize is that at 25 she still acts and dresses like she is 18. I don't. When I got preggers with boo I quit everything that is toxic for you (except caffine) But the cigs, the weed, the experimenting with dif drugs and many friends went bye bye because I had a new high, being a mom. Reasa however apperently stops doing stuff long enough to pop out a kid and resumes her toxic life (as has many of my old "friends") and here I am happily married, yet living away from my husband to help out my brother and someday sister in law, being responsible for running a house hold and just all sorts of "Adult" stuff all while Reasa is inviteing me to go out to a party and you know what. I am not even the slightest bit tempted, I don't want the old life, I have a better one. I am just irritated I don't know what People like Reasa mange to have kid after kid while some people I know who are genuine GOOD people can't manage to conceive, and when I say this I have to kick my self because if God only gave little angels to people who are good well I may still be going down that wrong path or in jail or worse...