Stress and the Holidays

Holidays are times where in my mind anyways people should set aside their differeces with others and be civil if not even nice. But not in my life it seems. My boyfriends ex is just doing everything she possibly can to make the Holidays miserable for us and in turn their kids are going to suffer for it. If it were just us that would be hurt by her bitter spitful actions well I'd say Bring it on because I am capable of returning fire (not that i enjoy sinking to that low but I could if pushed enough) but come on what about the kids seriously D is nearly 9 and C is 5 they still believe Christmas is a magical time of year. For her to use them as pawns in here little games just tears me apart as I am sure any GOOD mother would agree with me. Now I am not calling her a bad mom by any means she has managed to raise 2 great kids and therefore clearly she knows what is best for them but it seem right now she just doesnt have her head on straight or something because she is thinking only what is best for her and never mind about her kids. I am just ranting a little here a place where I can vent my frustrations since I won't go to her level and rail at her. She has gone as far as to say I am a druggie. Wow that is very imaginitve of her. Give me the test. That is one I will pass with flying colors. she says my home is "Unsafe" and yet I manage to have anywhere from 1, 3 or sometimes 5 kids and the worst any of them get hurt is by the kids themselves fighting and well kids fight even best of friends do. But whatever once again have some one come into my home and evaluate it, they will find a loving home that is a little small but every kid has a bed and food in their bellies and are well taken care of what more is nessesary. if you want to go a step further every kid has Christmas presents waiting to be wrapped and there are tons of toys to play with and child movies to watch. I am so frustrated I really am what can I do to prove to her (and why do I have to do anything) that I am not a bad person that I have all the kids best interests at heart the only thing I ask is she stops being a pest JW is not with her anymore not because of me but because she pushed him away. I did NOT steal him away from her in any way but she insists on blameing me at every turn...