Saturday, September 19, 2009

I'm fine...

I say this 20 times a day I say it to myself "I'm Fine" as if just saying that makes it all better. I have my good days and bad days. Even though I really am "OK" with all this (the divorce) and I am "FINE" I still find myself thinking how do I manage to drive away the people I love. This is my second divorce and I am only 26. So in the back of my mind I feel as if there is something about me that makes it so difficult. ok now I know I am "Easy on the eyes" (I get told as much at least a few times a day lol)And I am in general a good person no HUGE flaws in my charecter that I know of. I am working on the whole confidence thing and even that is getting better. I am hurting, I am hurting because the man I wanted to be with forever sees me as just a friend and I have heard that line so many times in some variation, "You are one of the guys" "I see you as a sister" "friends forever ok?" *Sigh* And yet I also hear (Since I work with a bunch of guys) that guys and girls can't be friends. It is the whole when Harry met Sally thing. So which is it? "Lets be friends" Or I am attracted to you. And IF you are attracted to me why do you insist on being "Just friends" *Sigh* ok enough rambleing I guess... I guess I just need one of my "JUST FRIENDS" to talk to...

1 comment:

Zoquara said...

*hugs* Sometimes.... shit happens. Feelings change, stress and kids complicate things.