I just wanna be mad for a while...

I feel hurt and lost, and I don't care who reads this at this point many of who may acctually read this know why I am hurt and lost and I am about to the point of not knowing who my friends are calling it quits and living entirely in the "real world" canceling my internet and calling it a f'ing day... It takes a lot for me to say this because these people have been my close friends for 3 years I have watched their babies grow and they have watched mine, but who do you trust when stuff has happened and has fractured that delicate thig called trust. I should be posting this where I KNOW they all will see it but this is my haven and I want to put this here, where others can read it as well who knows if anyoneeven will read it. and who know maybe this is just my shitty self esteem or lack there of talking... I am mad that any of this happened and made me question who my friends are. simply put that is it. I don't know if anything will be the same again. I know I was left out of somethings, and included in others and here I sit wondering if it is time for me to concentrate on my "real life"... even though at times THIS felt more like "real life" than anything else...