Stress and the Holidays

Holidays are times where in my mind anyways people should set aside their differeces with others and be civil if not even nice. But not in my life it seems. My boyfriends ex is just doing everything she possibly can to make the Holidays miserable for us and in turn their kids are going to suffer for it. If it were just us that would be hurt by her bitter spitful actions well I'd say Bring it on because I am capable of returning fire (not that i enjoy sinking to that low but I could if pushed enough) but come on what about the kids seriously D is nearly 9 and C is 5 they still believe Christmas is a magical time of year. For her to use them as pawns in here little games just tears me apart as I am sure any GOOD mother would agree with me. Now I am not calling her a bad mom by any means she has managed to raise 2 great kids and therefore clearly she knows what is best for them but it seem right now she just doesnt have her head on straight or something because she is thinking only what is best for her and never mind about her kids. I am just ranting a little here a place where I can vent my frustrations since I won't go to her level and rail at her. She has gone as far as to say I am a druggie. Wow that is very imaginitve of her. Give me the test. That is one I will pass with flying colors. she says my home is "Unsafe" and yet I manage to have anywhere from 1, 3 or sometimes 5 kids and the worst any of them get hurt is by the kids themselves fighting and well kids fight even best of friends do. But whatever once again have some one come into my home and evaluate it, they will find a loving home that is a little small but every kid has a bed and food in their bellies and are well taken care of what more is nessesary. if you want to go a step further every kid has Christmas presents waiting to be wrapped and there are tons of toys to play with and child movies to watch. I am so frustrated I really am what can I do to prove to her (and why do I have to do anything) that I am not a bad person that I have all the kids best interests at heart the only thing I ask is she stops being a pest JW is not with her anymore not because of me but because she pushed him away. I did NOT steal him away from her in any way but she insists on blameing me at every turn...

Changes

So much has happened since last I blogged the biggest change is I met/re-met someone. We have hit it off and are doing splendid. He has 2 children on top of the 3 I already have so in the future (if I ever get constant internet back and get back into blogging) My blogs will even more hilarity thanks to kids. Both of us are cooks so there maybe some new recipes posted as well. In addition to my personal life JW has also helped me in a business level together we are creating Shelly's Jellies & More we make homemade Jellies and Jams and will be moving on to conserves and preserves. We have been working on this business for a bit over a month or so and already have a few customers who are referring us to others this is a truly enjoyable and exciting time in my life and has made me more aware of realizing how great life truly is even when things seem low there is always the possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel and bigger and better things heading your way.

I'm fine...

I say this 20 times a day I say it to myself "I'm Fine" as if just saying that makes it all better. I have my good days and bad days. Even though I really am "OK" with all this (the divorce) and I am "FINE" I still find myself thinking how do I manage to drive away the people I love. This is my second divorce and I am only 26. So in the back of my mind I feel as if there is something about me that makes it so difficult. ok now I know I am "Easy on the eyes" (I get told as much at least a few times a day lol)And I am in general a good person no HUGE flaws in my charecter that I know of. I am working on the whole confidence thing and even that is getting better. I am hurting, I am hurting because the man I wanted to be with forever sees me as just a friend and I have heard that line so many times in some variation, "You are one of the guys" "I see you as a sister" "friends forever ok?" *Sigh* And yet I also hear (Since I work with a bunch of guys) that guys and girls can't be friends. It is the whole when Harry met Sally thing. So which is it? "Lets be friends" Or I am attracted to you. And IF you are attracted to me why do you insist on being "Just friends" *Sigh* ok enough rambleing I guess... I guess I just need one of my "JUST FRIENDS" to talk to...

2 in 2 days!

2 posts in 2 days surely I must be mad. (Not I'm not and please don't call me Shirley ha ha If you don't know where that is from you HAVE to watch airplane!!!) anyways here I am at the Library in my home town stealing a few moments of internet time. I gave you a general run down of where I am in my life yesterday now here is an update on my dear minions.

Boo started Kindergarten this year he loves it as we all knew he would. He does not like that i give him rides to school (we live too close for the bus) but he will just have to get over that lol. He is getting so big he turned 5 in July can you belive that! I can't lol.

L- Well my little monster boy is not happy he is not in school but he is doing ok he is not being as mean to his sister which is good he is getting big as well 3years old and knows everything! *Laughs*

H- My princess is turning out to be everything i dreamed and more *Laughs* she loves her babies, pretties, and purses oh and her SHOES that is her favorite thing Shoes *Laughs* She loves having me put her hair up and getting dressed in the mornings. she is talking more and more I think i will blink and she will be 2 already!

not to much else is happening other than if J cannot or will not move out soon I am thinking I will just because I am anxious to start the next stage of my life whatever that maybe but I know that I cannot do that while still living with my almost ex husband.

It has been a while huh

Due to the fact that I do not have constant internet my Blog posts have been sorely lacking as of late but it is something I NEED to do or surely I will go insane. So much has happened lately the biggest blow is my upcoming Divorce from the man who dispite everything that is happening I still find that I love him even if he views me as just a friend. I have had the oppertunity to go out on dates and one night I did but it did not feel quite right after wards.and because of that even though J says that I am free to date I don't. I will admit though it is extreamly flattering to work with a bunch of guys each of who has admited something like this "If I were not taken" or "If I were 20 years younger" or something like that *Laughs*my job is a pain I do the same thing day in and out but I love going to work because I enjoy the friendly banter between my friends/ work family. The "Head" of our family would be Chef of course, the bratty Brother would be RK who never stops talking. Ever. The eccentric Uncle would be D. the "Cool" brother would be RY, and the friend who is over more that not would be J. As for me well as flattering/ annoying as it is I am the "Hot girl next door" *Laughs*We all play our roles nicely and for the most part there is minimal bickering.

My Musical Awakening

So I am doing my nightly ritual of cleaning and rocking out to Pandora when Bush's Machinehead came on and suddenly I was remembering a time when I knew there was other music but all I listened to was country and oldies I was 14 when I had my "Musical awakening" I owe a lot to my boyfriend at the time, because of him I fell in love while listening to Bush's 16stone album and Metallica's Black album. To this day when I hear most songs of those two albums I am 14 again.

Even after we broke up I continued to broaden my horizons listening to music I had shunned before him. Very soon I had over 500 cd's everything from country to rock n' roll from classical to RnB I was in love. Not with a boy but with music. Now I have zero musical talent but I can play a mean Mp3 *laughs* But something about music is magical almost. You can make memories in music. Things I have forgotten come back when a certin song is played and I can relive that memory as if it were moments and not years ago. Not all memories are good but all memories make up who I am today so I suppose to quote a Disney movie song

"Music's in my soul

I can hear it everyday, everynight

It's the one thing on my mind"

fort kiddo part 2

after h woke up the fort was destroyed thanks to her turning it into a nest lol but here are a couple pics of her with her pretty glasses playing

Fort Kiddo

bed room of the Fort

L In the hall way of the fort

Boo in the Big room of the fort

the whole fort

this is what happens when mommy is bored we make cool forts :) Soon to come Pics of the princess in the fort

what doin mommy?

"What doin mommy" I hear this about 50 thousand times a day from L. I only exagerate a little bit. While I am doing laundry, "What doin mommy?" When I do the dishes "What doing mommy" And If I don't reply within 3 seconds I get an impatiant little boy tugging at my shorts and yelling "WHAT YOU DOIN MOMMY!?" *laughs* It is funny but I am ready for this phase to be done already. (he only started this, this week!)

Trains

This Is L's Birthday present from us this year. His birthday is a month off but no harm in letting him play right? 40.00 for all that plus a few trains as well. L woke up this morning at 6:30 am and it is now nearly 10:30 and he is STILL playing with it. He has not stopped for anything except potty breaks I think I deffinatly scored on this one! What do you think?

My Baby's babies

Ok that is just ridiculus lol She has 6 "real" Cabbage patch kids/babies/premies and one imitation CP doll. Let me remind you that she is only 16 months *laughs* and she has one with her at all times she doesn't care which one but she always has one of them! (on the plus side All but the one with the long hair was mine or my brothers lol)

a clean room

the toy boxes (yes they have two the spoiled boys)

some of their movies

train tracks

the trains (i think we are missing a few...)

the Dinos! (thier latest obcession)

A clean room sounds like a dream right? It does happen and I got photo proof! *laughs* Mind you mommy did most o the cleaning but hey it was clean (and trashed the next morning)

Fear...

So I am a facebook addict seriously I do those living social things all the time. You know pick your top five (Insert whatever here) and tonight I did one about fears. Now I can be a rather rational person I do think about things but no matter how rational you think you are everyone has a bit of irrationalness in them. mine are my fears some make seance, like Loosing my children. Be it by death or kidnapping, or running away, or when they grow up them wanting nothing to do with me that is a fear that any mother can understand, and the only one my rational mind can say say, "yep that is a good fear." of my other 4 I can rationalize 2 of them but you may still think me as being nuts. 

Zombies, not like scooby doo zombies but like mutated humans from I am legend... that scares me out of my mind because I can see how that could maybe happen... biochemical warfare, or toxins in the water or food or whatever... yeah terrifying. Loud noises not kids shouting, or tv blaring or even sirens but fireworks, cannon fire, thunder...stuff like that. I KNOW why I am terrified of that. When I was a kid I saw my older brothers concert I couldn't have been more than 4 they played the 1812 orchestra complete with cannons I remember cowering under my mom coat and ever since then loud noises like that scare me out of my wits. (J thinks it is hilarious by the way the jerk.)

Now bring on the irrationalities. Scary Clowns. I blame this on Stephen King as will many others with this fear. Thanks to that book and the movie IT my generation has a fear for clown and storm drains *laughs* I can't stand ICP not just because their music sucks but because they scare the crap out of me with that makeup and stuff (truthfully even KISS scares me with all the face paint but at least their music rocks my socks off) And lastly bungee jumping. You could offer me the world and I would not do it. The ONLY way I would EVER bungee jump is in the unlikely event of having to bungee jump to save one of my kids... I can't even stand to watch people bungee jump... I have this fear of the cord being to long, or stretched out, or snapping, or my legs ripping off the list goes on and on. *laughs* 

I don't know what the point to this blog was I guess I just need to write a bit before bed and so i write about what I fear the most of to dream land now... I sometimes question my sanity...

Lazy girl

Ok the princess CAN walk but she WON'T! Seriously she stands all on her own, when she isn't being goofy she walks with us holding her hands just fine she furniture cruises like nobodies bussiness but let  go of her hands and she flops on the floor and crawls... she is nearly 15 months and won't walk grrrrrr

L's First Skateboarding accident

So the boys got a skateboard handed down to them, stupid mommy that I am had no problem with them sitting on it and riding with no helmet thinking "how hurt can they get sitting down" well Yesterday we were all playing outside and suddenly Landon is screaming his head off. Mind you this is not unusual but for some reason I jumped up and ran to him and sure enough he had hit his head when he fell of the board it looks even worse today (pictures are from 10 min after the accident) because like a typical 2 year old he can't leave the owwy alone and keep scratching at it. So now the skateboard is put up until I buy 3 helmets. yes I am even buying the girl one because I am sure soon as she decides to walk she will be chasing the boys trying to ride that stupid thing as well.

my daughter and the snot sucker

Warning this is gross and funny :)

So my girl has a cold and a YUCKY nose and since she still can't blow her nose I am still using that green bulb thingy that I so aptly call the snot sucker. Well my boys hated/hate that thing like I had to pin them down and do it while they were screaming bloody murder seriously. Well after a long night of tears from her and me. I found the trusty snot sucker. (I was thinking I had lost it...) and I go through the motions of pinning my child down picture this if you will a mommy and a princess who have both been up for nearly 20 hours at 4:30 am in the living room her laying on the floor mommy sitting between the girls legs pinning her legs, her arms, and holding her head with my legs. Now time for the screaming right? Nope she is giggleing. Ok so she thinks we are playing right sure she is going to scream soon as the snot sucker starts sucking. So I go ahead and get to work it sucks the snot out she coughs a little and then LAUGHS like seriously the funniest thing she has ever seen laughing. Ok so she is weird I do it again and again with the cough and laughter this happens every time even later on after she has gotten sleep so it isn't just sleepy silliness. So weird....

The Zoo

Most of the Gang, Only one of the nieces DH and SIL are not in the picture

The kids in truck one at a brief stop at Hoover Dam

Take one dodge ram, one ford explorer, 7 kids (one who may as well be an adult) and 4 adults and a 5ish hour drive and you have our trip to the Zoo. H (my SIL) and I took all the older kids in the explorer while BIL and j took the 2 littles. The trip there was reltivly uneventful and few bickerment between the nephews but other than that we were good. When we got there J was in a Pissy mood but had very little sleep so I guess we can forgive that. We saw all sorts of creatures, the only thing that was on boos list that was not there was a Hippopotamus. But we saw everything we could while there and all the kids had a blast. The adults well I had fun as did H but i think the guys were wishing they had stayed home. but oh well on them if you want to see the full string of pictures let me know :)

hi ho hi ho its off to the zoo we go...

so are you on blog over load from me yet? I've gone from posting every few weeks to at least one sometimes two blogs a day. Honestly it is a writing exersise to get rid of my writers block that has stalled out my book I am trying to write yet again :) anyways we are getting ready to head to the zoo in AZ tomorrow morning (Like we are leaving by 5:30 am!) this should be interesting no? Prepare for a good blog Friday night or Saturday morning with pictures if I have time to take any, I hope I do since this is a first for all my kids, AND my husband!

Kermit the frog

So growing up Kermy was always on Sesame street, so was ms. Piggy and various other "Muppets" But with Sesame street nowadays I guess Kermy isn't a regular. I truthfully have mastered the art of tuning out PBS for the most part (I can't tune out dragon tales or Sid the science kid yet but that is ok) anyways while I am zoned out in my book today Boo runs up to me and goes "MOMMY Kermit the frog is on Sesame street!" He thought it was so cool he only know Kermit from the various Muppet movies we have (mainly treasure island and Christmas carol) So when he saw him on "My favorite tv show mommy" *laughs* well it was a BIG deal *Laughs* wouldn't you like to see the world through the eyes of a nearly 5 year old again?

Mommy you're white

OK keep in mind Boo was delayed on talking so at nearly 5 he still tends to leave some words out of a sentence. 

Earlier today we were getting ready to go to my BIL's house so the guys could work on the Expedition so that we can take it to Phoenix on Friday, and Boo walks up to me and says 'Mommy you white?" I am kinnda stunned thinking "oh boy this is gonna be interesting. I am not ready to explain how just cause people look different we are all the same" and several other thoughts are all racing through my mind so I just say, "OK..." and wait for him to finish then he says "And daddy's brown!" HUH? OK I am confused at this point since J is only slightly less ghostly pale than I am *laughs* So I asked him "what do you mean baby?" and he looks at me like I am a total idiot and says "Mommy's truck white! Daddy's is Brown"  *rolls eyes* brat. *laughs* 

Mommy is not a road

What is it about kids and thinking you are going to change your answer if they ask again or if they tack a pretty please on the question? This is L and Boo's stage right now Boo is the asker, L well he goes and uses me as a road for his cars I don't know why but that REALLY annoys me like more that I can express *laughs* well anyways he uses me as a road, my leg, my arms, my head anywhere he can reach and I say NO mommy is NOT a road (add that to the list of things I never thought I would have to say!) and about 3 seconds later Lightining McQueen is driving up my foot again. This time since it is my highly tickelish foot my poor boy gets a reflex kick in the hand (I always feel bad about this but he KNOWS it is going to happen since daddy was the one to show him how bad mommys feet are...Thanks dear...) I say No again next time here comes Lightining McQueen again this time he becomes mommy's car and is up in Hay's closet drawer along with Mater, Doc Hudson and Various no named cars. Maybe when he runs out of cars he will get the picture... Or move on to Dinosaurs *le sigh*

one second she is like this

and then she saw the camera *rolls eyes* drama queen!

I am at a loss with the Princess she has taken to throwing herself on the floor and screaming if she is really Pissed normally if she just isn't getting what she wants she lays in crawling position and puts her head down and cries (moderately cute in reality except for the drama queen aspect of it)neither of the boys did this I mean they threw tantrums but not for attention! 99.9% of the time she is fake crying just to get my attention. Do I just ignore this? Do I do what dad says and give her a swat on the butt thus giving her a reason to cry? I am LOST! I love having my girl at last but OMG she is dramarific at ONE!!!! HELP!

Going crazy

It is official my kids cannot get along. I am sure every mom feels this way at some point or another especially when the kids are so close in age. The little ones are testing their boundaries nearly constantly right now, She picks on him, he hits her, she pulls his hair, he pinches her GRRR and then when L isn't picking on his sister he is irritating his brother by playing with his superman or something equally annoying to Boo. Boo and the baby girl rarely fight unless she decides she want to touch his food or drink from his cup. But there is always at least one kid screaming here unless they are getting into something or sleeping, and the thought that runs through my mind is even though I don't want them to grow up to fast or whatever I have 15 more years before there is no more fighting... 17 years until I can take a shower and be guaranteed to not be interrupted by a kid (and even then they could call ask my mom *laughs*) 

Kindergarten... wait WHAT?!

July 2004

March 2009

So my baby boy is starting kindergarten in the fall when did this happen, and WHO gave that baby boy permission to grow up? I demand answers. Seriously though, Kindergarten... Sure,sure he has been in school for two years now thanks to early childhood but wow kindergarten that is a big deal. I have a school aged child, and I know that there won't be much difference except I think the kindergarten classes here are full day but this sort of snuk up on me I guess is the only way to put it. I know he will do great he is so smart and funny, but he will be riding the bus with big kids as well as the littles, and after kindergarten is first grade and then L will be in kindergarten and man I am gonna blink and they are gonna be teenagers! and I don't like teenagers :( Ok now that you are all laughing at me. I am gonna end this before I get weepy.

Been awhile

Hello my dearly devoted readers :) sorry its been a while I have been busy since last post I have added two rows to daddy's quilt (if you have any worn out jeans you want to send to me lemme know *cough hin hint cough*) made 12 rows of 12 squares for my baby girl's quilt and gone to Utah. We had a blast. The kids are all doing good Boo is getting so big I can't believe he turns 5 in a few months and will start kindergarden soon. L is a monster but so cute! And the princess well she is a Princess still not walking she took a step but I think it was a fluke *laughs* she  has her big brother wrapped around her lil finger I called her a brat today and he says "no mommy She's a Princess" ha ha ha

I think that is about it :)

Daddy's Quilt

I started with something like this pair of worn out jeans

then I cut them into squares

Then I sew'd them into strips

And then sew'd the strips together

I have been working on my daddy' quilt for a while now and I am about half way done with the patchwork. :)

One year ago today

One year ago I got the most precious gift. My Baby girl. My Princess. After two boys (who I do love) I finally had my girl. And now a year later my baby girl has become even more adorable with her own personality. And I enjoy her being in my life everyday. Happy Birthday princess.

my baby and her babies

I thought it had gotten awful quiet in my normaly chatty daughters room so when I went to investigate I found this. My baby and all her babies she apparently talked herself to sleep :D

Books and lonelyness

As a mommy of 3 you can imagine I am sure that I don't have a lot of time to read. Not nearly as much as I would like considering I have been known to read from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed stopping only for stuff like food since I don't want to muss the pages of my books with yucky fingers. Just the same though I always have a book started, I can take a break read a chapter and be good to go. Today however I am lonely I finished Breaking dawn (again) last night and it is always so final when you get to the end of a series of books. I rather enjoy living in Forks with all my vampire and werewolf (Shapeshifter) friends, but then I also Loveing living at Hogwarts, and on Pern, and even in Xanth. The truth is I love haveing that window that I can peer into to see another world or even my own world just from a different view. So when I don't have a book started do you see why I say I am lonely? I think I am going to go read about Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy again *grins*